Short update

This will have to be really short...chemo today went very well! Another round with no tummy upset! But the neuropathy has kicked in stronger & faster, so I am having spasms in my thumbs & hands. I'm attempting to type this with my middle finger on my phone bc my thumbs won't work right.. Oi. So it's a short but HUGE praise things went well & request the annoying neuropathy & insane sensitivity to cold & other weird things (like my tears burn like fire, flavor makes my mouth painfully tingle at first, sneezing, etc) fade quickly. I'll update more about the wonderful little blessings I've had the last week when my thumbs work properly again (c'mon acupuncture!). =) God Bless!!! And thank you for the continued prayers. 2 infusions down, 4 to go.

This Jesus guy

Hillsong United:  "The Stand"

You stood before creation  -  Eternity in your hand

You spoke the earth into motion  -  My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure  -  And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon your shoulders  -  My soul now to stand

So what could I say?  -  And what could I do?
But offer this heart, Oh God
Completely to you

So I'll walk upon salvation  -  Your spirit alive in me
This life to declare your promise  -  My soul now to stand

So what could I say?  -  And what could I do?
But offer this heart, Oh God
Completely to you

I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand
My soul Lord to you surrendered
All I am is yours

This song has been running through my head for a while - the last part specifically.  I see the picture I chose to put on the blog when I hear it.  "With arms high & heart abandoned"  I crave that lately.  I actually crave the feeling of just standing there with my arms high, singing praises to my God.  Nothing feels more natural or peaceful.  So I'm learning that I can "be" in that place without actually being there - I don't need to stand there all the time (my arms aren't that strong anyways).  I can be in that state of worship no matter what I'm doing.  "Jen, that makes no sense..." you say.  Hear me out - it does bc it's about the heart, not the arms.  I am learning how my heart can be in that state of abandoned worship while playing with my girls, riding in the car, reading, grocery shopping, etc.   And it excites me to keep diving deeper into my relationship with Christ.

About this Christ I keep talking about... I want to take a moment to tell you about Him.  Jesus Christ is my Lord & Savior.  I have said with my mouth & believed in my heart this:  that He is the one & only Son of God.  He was born of a virgin.  He lived a perfect, sin free life.  He was betrayed.  He was tortured.  He was brutally killed on a cross.  He took all of my past, present & future sins (and yours) onto Himself on that cross.  By His death, He paid the price for those sins.  He was buried in a tomb & rose again in 3 days.  He ascended into Heaven.  And He loves us.  He loves me.  HE LOVES YOU.  He loved you so much that He gave His very life that you can live with Him forever in eternity.  This gift of eternal life is a FREE GIFT He is eager to give you.  All you have to do to receive that gift is "...declare with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9)  That's IT!  All you have to do is accept that gift & believe!  You don't have to accumulate a bunch of good works, hoping it's enough to outweigh the bad.  You don't have to pray certain prayers, attend a certain church, do certain rituals, look a certain way, etc.  What do you have to do?  I'm going to paste a paragraph from my church's (McLean Bible Church) "What We Teach" bc honestly, I can't word it better. 

HOW MAY I BECOME A CHRISTIAN?
Receiving Christ as your Lord and Savior is the most important decision you or anyone will ever make.

TO RECEIVE CHRIST:
• You must acknowledge yourself to be a helpless sinner in God’s sight and in need of a Savior (Romans 3:23, 5:12).
• You must believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross to be the very Savior you have just admitted needing (Romans 5:8; I Corinthians 15:3; I Peter 2:24a) and rose from the dead (Romans 10:9; I Corinthians 15:4), having accomplished the defeat of sin.
• You must personally repent of your sins (Luke 5:32; 13:3) and confess Jesus Christ as Lord over your life (Romans 10:9-10), believing that as God He can and will forgive your sins (Acts 10:43) and grant you eternal life (I John 5:11, 13).

A few other verses for you:  

Romans 10:13  "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."

John 14:6  "Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'"

Acts 16:30-31  "He then brought them out and asked, 'Sirs, what must I do to be saved?'  They replied, 'Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved.'"

This has been on my heart to share with you.  I know many of you have taken that step in faith & are my brothers & sisters in Christ.  I'm sure there are some of you who practice some type of "religion" and say "hey, I respect you for yours, respect me for mine".  I do respect your beliefs, BUT I ask you to look at the "religion" you practice & see if it is based on a personal relationship with Christ.  Have you ever actually said to God that you're sorry & asked Him to forgive you for all of your sins & to take Lordship over your life?  Have you asked Jesus Christ into your heart?  Do you know FOR SURE, WITHOUT DOUBT that if you die today you will spend eternity with Christ bc you have accepted Him as your Savior???  And to my friends that don't know God at all, or don't even believe there is a God:  I challenge you to honestly ask God to show Himself to you.  Just be open to it.  I guarantee you that if you are open to it & ask Him to show Himself, HE WILL.  Even if you don't believe He exists, I still challenge you to say "God, IF You are real like this crazy chic says You are, then SHOW ME".  If you mean that, HE WILL.  

"Oh boy.  Jen lost it.  The chemo has gotten to her...she's going crazy, and frankly, kinda making me mad telling me this dude Jesus is the only way to Heaven."  I'm sure some of you are thinking that.  I'm sure some of you are feeling defensive, angry, annoyed, apathetic, etc... and thinking I just took my nice little blog about my cancer & went all churchy.  So why in the world am I talking about this, risking the possibility of losing friends!?  Bc there is NOTHING in this world more important to me than to share the amazing good news of Jesus Christ!  Bc I LOVE each of you SO MUCH that I want you all to have that gift of salvation!  Bc I care about you so much that I do NOT want you to leave this earth & spend eternity in Hell.  Yes, Hell.  That's the flip side to this coin.  It is the justified punishment we each deserve for our sins.  But through the saving grace of our very own Creator, He PAID OUR DEBT so we don't have to spend eternity with "weeping & gnashing of teeth" (Matthew 13:40-41).  I want each of you to experience the amazing joy & peace you can only receive from God.  (Philippians 4:7).  I want you to have a relationship with the Creator of the universe!  I want you to fill that hole in your spirit that can only be filled with Christ.  ONLY He can truly satisfy you.  ONLY He can heal your wounds.  ONLY He can give you the love you need.  ONLY He can give you the strength to face the struggles of this life.  Trust me on that - any strength you see when you see me or read my posts is ALL from God! 

I'm not perfect, by far...oh please, I'm so far.  I'm no saint.  And again, I'm not some amazingly strong person.  I'm just a simple sinner, saved by grace through faith.   And I hope you take the time to re-read this post if you have not accepted Christ as your Savior.  Think about it.  Ask God to show himself to you.  Ask me or someone else that knows God questions if you have them.  Check out some info McLean Bible has online if you like:  

Becoming a Fully Devoted Follower of Christ:  http://www.mcleanbible.org/uploads/FullyDevotedBooklet.pdf

What We Teach:  http://www.mcleanbible.org/uploads/WhatWeTeach.pdf

About my pastor, Lon Solomon (listen to his story, please):  http://www.mcleanbible.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=81281

Thank you for taking the time to read this.  I thank you for your continued prayers.  I pray the Lord returns the blessings you have poured over me.